Ariana Grande wrote a candid note to fans on Sunday after a video showed the singer openly crying and unable to get through a song at a concert in St. Louis, Missouri, the night before.
In a now-deleted Instagram post, Grande said that tour life is “wild” and told fans that sometimes, she struggles with it all.
“I feel everything very intensely and have committed to doing this tour during a time in my life when I’m still processing a lot,” the 26-year-old wrote. “So sometimes I cry a lot!”
The singer thanked fans for accepting her “humanness” and said that despite what she’s going through, she’s not going to give up.
“No matter how hard it gets or how many feelings come up that are screaming at me to be processed and sorted through one day, I’m grounded by gratitude and promise not to give up on what I’ve started,” Grande wrote, adding that she was “sharing this because I’m grateful and because I want you to know that if you too are hurting, you can push through and are not alone.”
Grande has experienced a series of hardships over the last few years. The “Thank U, Next” singer has routinely spoken about suffering from “terrifying” post traumatic stress disorder after a terrorist bombing outside her May 2017 concert in Manchester, England, killed 22 people and seriously injured more than 50.
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Her ex-boyfriend, rapper Mac Miller, died from an accidental overdose in September 2018. The following month, Grande called off her engagement to “Saturday Night Live” star Pete Davidson after the pair had been together for five months.
Grande released two deeply personal albums following the harrowing series of events and told fans in a since-deleted tweet that performing the songs “is like reliving it all over again and it is hell.”