When Charlize Theron won the Oscar for best actress in 2004, she didn’t anticipate all the ways that the win would impact her life.

In a new interview with Variety, Theron opened up about how she felt “a little unstable” after winning for her role as Aileen Wuornos in the 2003 movie Monster.

“As far as work goes, it opens up a lot of doors. But also, it’s so overwhelming to have everybody clamoring and saying, ‘This is what you should do.’ There’s so much noise,” she said. “I felt a little unstable afterwards.”

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Theron said it didn’t help that her next movie Aeon Flux did not perform well at the box office and was considered by many to be a flop.

“When Aeon Flux came to me, I thought that could be something. I was never completely sold on the entire concept, but I really loved [director] Karyn Kusama’s movie [Girlfight]. So I threw myself into that with the belief that she’s a great filmmaker. And then we f—ed it all up,” Theron said.

“I just don’t think we really knew how to execute it. And it’s disappointing, but it happens. I’ve been in this business long enough to know that you cannot get it right every time. I might have gotten this right because of that.”

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While Aeon Flux might not have achieved the success of Monster, Theron hasn’t let the experience distract her. The actress is focusing firmly on the future, specifically for women in film.

“We’ve had moments like this, where women really showcase themselves and kind of break glass ceilings. And then we don’t sustain it. Or there’s one movie that doesn’t do well, and all of a sudden, no one wants to make a female-driven film,” she said.

“And look, I am ashamed that I’m part of an industry that has never allowed a woman to work with a budget higher than what the budget has been on Wonder Woman. That’s so f—ing caveman-like. I am always hoping that this is the movie that’s going to change it and keep it for us.”

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We’re hoping things will change too, Theron.

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